If there’s one golden rule that I follow, it’s not letting on to anyone I work with that I’m in a band. When I mentioned I played bass at my last job, I had three different coworkers mansplaining the difference between playing legato versus staccato for my entire lunch break. Needless to say, no one within the confines of this marketing firm needs to know I’m in a grindcore band, unless they want to make awkward small talk regarding writing songs about throwing people in woodchippers.

Which is why, as I peer from behind the stage curtains to see our first audience consisting of more than three people, I realize I’d royally screwed up earlier by inviting my coworkers to my gig tonight because they actually followed through and showed up.

I only invited everyone to the gig as a joke excuse

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