BELVEDERE, Ill. — Self-described ‘ultraMAGA patriot’ Gill Stevenson relentlessly criticized Greta Thunberg as she makes another attempt to bring aid to Gaza, according to sources.
“It’s just more performative grandstanding from Thunberg twerp,” said Stevenson while en route to get a deep tissue massage. “I’ve seen the pictures of her on that boat—it’s all a photo-op staged by the antisemitic liberal media. I saw an X post saying she’s really just delivering food, booze, and new Nintendo Switches to Hamas leaders. Want to know about courage? Real courage is my cousin Tony, who just last week went into Chicago to pick up a Peloton bike he saw on Craigslist. He paid in cash, and it wasn’t even a nice part of Chicago—it was on the South Side!”
Dr. Gabriel Boucher, who works with Doctors With