Oh no, it happened again! Looks like your neighborhood crust punk got scared and scratched your kid after she got too close to his Marlboro stash, and you’re considering a declawing procedure, but not so fast! Before you resort to such a cruel and unethical approach, try considering these five humane alternatives.

Scratching Post

Did you know providing your neighborhood crust punk with a scratching post will give him a safe outlet while cutting down on potential outbursts? Make it familiar by constructing it out of old Discharge and Nausea patches. This will undoubtedly hasten his acclimatization to the post, and thus make him less of a liability to your neighborhood’s residents.

Beer

Remember, a sleeping crust punk is not going to be a danger to others. Moreover, a crust punk who is g

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