Ciddy was anticipating a fun trip when he took LSD by himself. He had tried it before and had a transformational experience in which he felt his body ascend above the Earth’s atmosphere and witness the formation of a new universe over the course of what felt like thousands of years.

Except, this time, the psychedelics subverted his expectations and instead presented him with a distressing memory he had repressed for years: In high school, he had felt so hopeless about the state of the world and his place in it that he had tried to kill himself.

“At first, my mind tried to push back and avoid words like ‘suicide,’” Ciddy, who is using a pseudonym to protect his privacy, told Salon in a phone interview. However, he said he was grateful at the time to be able to recognize he was avoidin

See Full Page