Dear Annie:

I’ve been a longtime reader, and a recent column really resonated with me. I’m a couples coach, and I see this pattern often: people who fear conflict tend to suppress their feelings rather than express them. Over time, that silence turns into resentment, and eventually, things explode — sometimes irreparably.

In the letter you shared, the woman said she and her husband had only had a handful of disagreements in 13 years. To me, that’s a red flag. Conflict, when handled well, is a sign of emotional honesty and connection, not a failure.

How can couples learn to communicate honestly and handle conflict in a healthy way before resentment builds up and causes real damage? — Looking Beneath the Surface

Dear Beneath the Surface:

Thank you for your thoughtful letter.

Many peopl

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