LONDON mayor Sadiq Khan has been knighted, prompting outrage from gammons. Since they’re utterly obsessed with him, here’s what to sadistically tell them…

Knights are exempt from the ULEZ charge

Tell a gammon that Sir Sadiq can now drive around London completely free. It’s disgusting, because who wouldn’t love to drive endlessly around London’s congested streets lined with Coral bookies and grotty fried chicken shops as if you’re gliding along breathtaking mountain roads in the Swiss Alps in an open-topped Aston Martin?

He gets a free castle

Be sure to really wax lyrical about this imaginary abode: the banqueting hall serving all-day full Englishes with quails’ eggs; the fairytale tower for trysts with hot maidens; the ‘dragon pad’ which is like a helicopter pad but for Khan’s personal

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