FORD OF THE JABBOK — Newly unearthed scrolls have revealed the ringside commentary from the wrestling match between Jacob and the Angel of the Lord, as well as the incredible, prime-time rematch Jacob v. Angel II that followed.

The discovered excerpt of the commentators has now been translated and reads as follows: "Absolute pile driver there! Nasty dislocation — ooh, that's gotta leave a limp! — sweep single from Jacob, killer half-nelson from the angel, and Jacob's got him locked up in a far-side cradle and demanding a blessing right there at the end. What a match, what a…wait…what's that??

Ladies and gentlemen, ringside sources are informing me that the Angel is back for a wrestling rematch! This has got to be the rematch of the century right here! They're warming up inside the ring

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