U.S. — WNBA games are the last place on earth where a person can safely social distance, say infectious disease experts. As a result of these findings, the WNBA is enjoying a surge in its fanbase as tens of people flock to the games to get away from "germ-infested grandma killers."

Mary McGrady, a single white female burdened with tremendous colonial guilt, told reporters she was "relieved" when she discovered the WNBA still existed. "We are in the midst of a devastating pandemic that has killed six million people but no one cares!" she wailed like a ghost. "I'm so glad I found a great place to get away from people."

Newer fans like McGrady are concerned that, now that the secret is out, they won't be able to social distance anymore as more people try to join in on their brilliant COVID

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