Sometimes, a public affairs officer at the Department of Justice gets to reach deep into their bag and write a press release with some literary flourish. Wednesday’s announcement from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Central District of California is one such case: “Former NBA Star, Suspected Israeli Crime Figure Arrested on Federal Indictment Alleging High-Stakes Illegal Poker Games at Encino Mansion.”

First things first: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Nobody should prejudge the outcome of this action. But if you haven’t clicked that link or read the news yet, I want you to stop and think about which “former NBA star” is most likely the one referred to in this announcement. Think about it for three or four more seconds. OK. It turns out you were right on the money: It’s Gi

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