Sydney Sweeney is, by all accounts, a talented and hardworking actress. Her professional collaborators call her kind, strong, and capable. Journalists who have interviewed her praise her intelligence and honesty.

She is also a blonde white woman with larger-than-average breasts. For some reason, this has driven Americans across the ideological spectrum completely insane.

The issue with Sweeney is that she is a celebrity whose image is so semiotically potent and yet ideologically unfixed that the whole question of What She Means becomes contested political territory. The internet has periodically driven itself into bizarre flights of fancy about her since 2022, when Sweeney posted photos from her mother’s birthday party. As fans noticed attendees sporting red MAGA-style hats, many specula

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