On the eve of historic legislation that will shower more money on the rich and slash health care for the poor, I find myself on the island of Malta, wandering the ancient walled city of Medina, where the Romans ruled for 600 years before their empire collapsed in a heap of decadence and fire. On the brink of history, I’m sweating out last night’s tequila in a blazing Mediterranean sun, the last traces of a psychedelic compound ebbing in my brain, and wondering how the hell I got here.

I pull up photos from my phone and open a random video: Kate Hudson pole dancing to thumping DJ music as Leonardo DiCaprio bobs to flashing purple lights with his 27-year-old girlfriend, Vogue cover model Vittoria Ceretti .

I wince. It’s all coming back.

I’d just spent the last 48 hours ab

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