Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My mom lives several states away. We see her a couple times a year, but my children don’t know her well because of the distance. Meanwhile, my sister lives around the corner from her, so her kids have a completely different relationship with “Grandma” than mine do.

She recently visited us, and I needed her to pick my 8-year-old up from day camp. It would be just the two of them for a few hours before I got off work, something that hasn’t happened before—usually I’m around or my sister’s kids. Well, that day, my son did not have a good time at camp and apparently didn’t talk much after pickup. He was even quiet with me once we met up. My mom said th

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