Parenting advice: After a traumatic childhood, I built a life where I wouldn't have to take care of anyone. Now my husband's daughter needs me. I want to flee.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

After a traumatic childhood, I built a life where I don’t have take care of people. But recently my husband’s adult daughter developed a serious illness, and she and her toddler son have moved in with us. I’m living my nightmare.

Growing up, I was the oldest of six and was expected to parent my siblings. I remember changing my first diaper at age 4 and getting yelled at for warming bottles wrong around at 5. I cannot over-stress how much I hated this or how much it messed me up. I was also my mom’s caretaker in a lot of age-inappropriate ways. She had bouts of bedrest and untreated depressive episodes. My dad acted helpless when screaming didn’t fi