Dear Dave,

Our son used to own and run his own small business, until it went bankrupt a few months ago. We let him move in with us, because he hasn’t been able to find another job and had nowhere else to turn. My husband and I are both getting close to retirement age, and we’re not sure what to do in order to get our son on his feet and back out in the world again.

Elisabeth

Dear Elisabeth,

As a parent, I understand where you’re coming from. You don’t want to kick a kid when he’s down, but you don’t want to participate in, or allow him to wallow around in, a bunch of self-pity. Everyone needs a little time to catch their breath when really bad things happen. But right now, you need to help him reset his mind and start taking practical steps toward being a productive, self-sufficient ad

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