Joe Burrow , who usually avoids preseason action like a cold plunge, decided it was finally time to change the script. The Bengals quarterback suited up with one clear goal: get this team out of their annual September funk. Even HC Zac Taylor admitted it, saying the team’s trying to avoid another slow start, and early reps could “spark” things.

To be fair, Cincinnati has earned a reputation for snoozing through opening weeks. Burrow’s been part of that problem, starting past seasons sluggishly before ramping up late. So yes, getting some game snaps before Week 1 makes sense. But unfortunately for the Who Dey Nation, the result was the same—the Bengals fell short, losing 34-27 to the Eagles . Not the kind of early momentum the city was craving.

Then came Zac Taylor’s press c

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