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Haley Popp has always had a close relationship with her mom.
The 44-year-old from Flower Mound, Texas, respectfully disagreed with her mother’s conservative views. But they could always set aside their political differences to connect.
That changed in 2016.
Haley’s parents, Mary Lou and Bob Kultgen, became avid supporters of President Donald Trump and his call to “Make America Great Again.” Haley and her brother, Chad Kultgen, disagreed. Vehemently.
The political tension reached its peak during the pandemic. Every conversation Haley and Chad had with their parents turned into a fight over politics. They blocked each other on social media. Haley went from speaking on the phone with her mother every day to going months without talking.
“I always considered my mom one of my best friends... It was sad,” Haley said. “It was a hard time. I thought I might not be able to talk to my parents again.”
“It was ripping my heart out,” said Mary Lou, 70, who lives in Edmond, Oklahoma.
Their situation was not unlike many family dynamics in the U.S. They later found a way to repair theirs.
A survey conducted before the 2024 presidential election found that 1 in 5 Americans had become estranged from a family member, blocked a family member on social media or skipped a family event due to disagreements over controversial topics such as politics, according to the American Psychiatric Association.
“Our current environment has become increasingly polarized,” APA CEO and medical director Dr. Marketa Wills said in October 2024. “Some of us will find ourselves having heated conversations and disagreements on sensitive issues, even with the people we are close to. Sometimes these discussions represent healthy debate, and other times they may cross the line into incivility if emotions flare.”
In 2022, Chad decided he had had enough. He didn’t know how much time he had left with his parents and he didn’t want to spend those remaining years estranged. If the only way he could speak to his parents was fighting over politics, he said, then bring it on.
“The only time we could lock in was by talking politics,” said Chad, 44, who lives in Los Angeles. “I thought why not do this as a podcast because it would regiment the need for us to get together every week for one hour.”
He approached Haley with the idea. She said to herself, “We have nothing to lose, so why not?”
The podcast, dubbed “The Necessary Conversation Podcast,” ended up saving the family.
Bickering on the podcast for an hour every Sunday allowed them to focus on other things outside of the show. If anyone mentioned politics during a family gathering or casual phone call, Chad encouraged them to “save it for the podcast," which he called their "therapy."
“That’s our one hour for yipping and fighting and going after each other,” Mary Lou said. “The podcast is only a sliver of our real lives and what we mean to each other.”
Now, the siblings visit their parents’ barn in Oklahoma and attend Kansas State University football games together. Haley even helped her father during his recovery from a second hip surgery.
They still don’t agree on politics, but they’ve learned to listen to one another and sympathize. Chad hopes he can show other families that it's possible to repair familial relationships despite political differences.
"My relationship with my parents was more important than my relationship wth Donald Trump," he said.
Mary Lou agreed. "Politics is not worth losing family members over or losing the love for your family," she said. "It's just not worth it."
Adrianna Rodriguez can be reached at adrodriguez@usatoday.com.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Donald Trump estranged their family. Talking about him brought them back together.
Reporting by Adrianna Rodriguez, USA TODAY / USA TODAY
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