I was horribly lonely in my mid-20s. Then I realized: I was a boring, flaky friend.

• I used to feel lonely in my mid-20s when many of my school and work friends moved away. • I was bad at making plans with existing friends and putting myself out there to meet new ones. • Initiating more and taking up hobbies completely transformed my social life.

Right when I hit my mid-20s, my social luck dried out.

It seemed that nearly everyone — my high school friends, my college crew, my work buddies — secretly met and conspired to all leave New York at the same time to personally wound me. Sure, they cited reasons like "affordability" or "new career opportunities," but I knew the truth: I was being punished.

As my weekends became sparser, I knew I had much to blame for feeling so lonely at 24. Besides some friends moving away, others were entering new relationships and were