Donald Trump can't stop collecting medals he never earned, and now he's comparing his minor ear graze to actual combat wounds because apparently being a five-time draft dodger wasn't quite insulting enough to veterans.

As reported in The Daily Beast, Trump told a room full of Purple Heart recipients – you know, people who actually bled for their country instead of hiding behind daddy's money – that his minuscule assassination attempt injury "wasn't that easy" for him either.

The Bone Spur Baron, who fought bravely in the Great Vietnam Avoidance Campaign of '68, has been stockpiling unearned medals like a toddler grabbing participation ribbons at a field day. Olympic medals? Sure! Soccer trophies? Why not! Purple Hearts from actual veterans? Just toss them on his pile of purchased valor.

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