U.S. — New research has discovered that women will throw their support behind any cause, no matter how violent and sexist, as long as they get to wear a scarf.

"So, let me get this straight: this cause treats women as property, believes raping women an acceptable form of violence, and vows to murder innocent civilians - but I get to wear a scarf?" asked local college student Danielle Walker. "That sounds amazing! Sign me up!"

Though researchers had posited that women would be turned off to a cause where men take videos of themselves butchering children, they were surprised to find all hesitation instantly dissipated with the chance to wear a scarf. "We really underestimated the power of a scarf," said lead researcher Dr. Stephen Donaldson. "We could explain in graphic detail how this cau

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