WASHINGTON, D.C. — America was saved in the face of overwhelming odds when former President Trump returned as Trump the White at first light Monday to drain the swamp, finally making good on a campaign promise from days of old. He was joined by Dutch farmers, Canadian truckers, and those who would carry the banner of freedom unto death.

According to witnesses, there suddenly upon Capitol Hill appeared a rider, clad in white, shining in the rising sun. Behind him, hastening down the long slopes of the National Mall, were a thousand farmers and truckers; steering wheels and gear shifts manipulated with the ingenuity of patriots.

"Behold the White Rider!" cried Ted Cruz.

Rep Thomas Massie was encouraged but skeptical. "This is wizardry indeed! Come, I would look upon this ere the spell cha

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