BEAVERTON, OR - Nike has released a new patriotic shoe just in time for the Fourth of July: the Sanders Air Marx, the official, signature shoe of Senator Bernie Sanders.

Every pair of Air Marx is emblazoned with Sanders' signature and iconic "crazy old man" silhouette. The shoes pack in all kinds of useful features for people living in a socialist regime, including the following:

New ActiveShrink technology helps the shoe shrink right along with you as you wither away from starvation

Breadline Padding Plus helps you stand in breadlines for hours hoping the government is generous enough to give you some food

A Venezuelan flag, or optional Soviet Russian flag, to show your true patriotism

A patented air pump that helps you pump up your wheelbarrow tire as you slave away farming food for

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