Well, this can't be good: the coronavirus is spreading faster than support for socialism, and it's only slightly less deadly. It's important to take precautions to avoid both the coronavirus and socialism, so we've thrown together this little explainer to help you navigate this frightening potential pandemic. We asked for advice from a lady who sells essential oils at our church and a woman on Facebook who posts about "gut health" a lot, so you can be sure this is incredibly accurate.

What is the coronavirus?

An alt-right conspiracy theory invented by Russian hackers to distract us all from the historic impeachment proceedings.

How can I tell if I have the coronavirus?

Go to WebMD and search your symptoms. You probably have either the coronavirus or cancer.

How many calories does the

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