U.S. — Fox News has announced that it is ready to officially project the winner of the papacy, calling the conclave for Joe Biden.
With zero percent of the vote counted and no one having any idea what's happening inside the Sistine Chapel, Fox News said it had all the data it needed to project Biden as the winner.
"We can now project that Joe Biden will be the 267th Pope of the Catholic church," said anchor Brett Baier. "We've seen all that we need to see. Fox News understands that no other network has yet made this call, and also that the Vatican said Biden's selection is literally impossible, but you are all wrong. Idiots."
Despite not being a Cardinal of the Catholic Church or clinically alive, Biden is predicted by Fox News to pick up several last-minute swing votes that will tilt t