On August 3, Edward “Big Balls” Coristine , famed as the teenage mascot of Elon Musk ’s DOGE assault on the federal bureaucracy, got badly beaten up during an attempted carjacking in Washington, D.C. President Trump reacted with a wild and angry screed threatening to federalize the D.C. government. Then on August 11, Trump followed through with a wild and angry press conference in which he quite literally fabricated a violent-crime wave in Washington to justify a takeover of the local police force and the deployment of National Guard units.

On August 8, as Team Trump planned this little coup, a more violent crime than Coristine’s beating unfolded in Atlanta as a shooter, apparently inspired by anti-vaxx propaganda, fired 180 rounds of ammunition at four headquarters buil

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