At a time when quarterly economic growth in the UK is flatlining at 0.3 per cent, it’s good to learn that not every industry in Britain is in mortal peril. While their customers have seen better days, coffin makers report that the average casket width has grown from 18-20 inches to a girthy 20-24 inches.

As a 15.8 per cent increase, it’s the definition of an upsell and the kind of growth that only countries that have fired their chief statistician can hope to achieve. You’d think it would be a boom time for the National Association of Funeral Directors, who, given their trade, must rarely be in the mood for celebrating.

Excuse-making can’t nullify the physics: if you are fat, it’s because you ate too much

Yet it seems that both the bereaved and those doing the boxing and burying are ala

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