Why are fewer Americans getting married and having children?

It's the question we all eventually get asked in our lives, several times.

“What do you see yourself eventually doing?”

As a young person still figuring some things out, you can imagine how often I get that one, whether it’s from my fellow classmates, my professors or my friends’ parents.

My first instinct is to talk about the family I hope to raise, but I know the question is likely about my professional ambitions instead. It’s understandable – a career can certainly provide one with a sense of duty and purpose. Indeed, 71% of American adults state that having an enjoyable job is extremely important for living a fulfilling life. But only 26% say the same about having children.

We are seeing a culture shift away from family

The lack of priority given to one’s future family is deeply worrying nowadays. It reflects a larger cultural shift: Fewer Americans are getting married and having children.

Why is this the case, especially when almost half of Americans agree that fewer people choosing to have kids would negatively impact the country?

Some cite affordability, environmental concerns and bad memories of their own childhood. Most Americans ages 18-49 who doubt they’ll reproduce, however, say they simply don’t want to. People increasingly view becoming a parent as burdensome, and while it is true that raising a kid demands hard work and sacrifice, America’s aversion to starting a family has its consequences.

Recently released data shows that the fertility rate in the United States has dropped to a record low of less than 1.6 births per woman, well below the replacement rate of 2.1. This means we are trending toward a future with more retirees and fewer working-age adults, which threatens long-term economic growth, increases pressure on social services and erodes support networks for the elderly.

We can look at South Korea as a warning, which had a fertility rate of 0.75 in 2024, and that wasn’t even the lowest on record. Over the next 60 years, that nation's population is projected to halve, and by this point, people ages 65 and older will make up approximately 58% of the population. Health care and pension costs are expected to soar, and a rise in lonely, isolated deaths is a concern.

I'm concerned about what young people want

Just a few months ago, during Harvard University's finals season, I overheard a conversation between two other students at the library. One of them was saying he was excited for his post-grad life because he’d be making money on Wall Street, drinking and getting high with his friends, and entering a string of noncommitted relationships. For him, that was the reason he was attending college for four years.

That mindset, although disappointing to hear now, will do more than disappoint us later. It points to a grim, childless future.

Today’s culture often celebrates personal freedom and career milestones, while less glamorous moments that give life incredible meaning are pushed to the side. Of course, this isn’t to say that everyone should have or want kids – there are other goals worth pursuing. But for countless young people, parenthood remains an overlooked path. It isn’t a detour from your career; it can be one of the most rewarding vocations.

But there remains hope. In the United States, parenthood is associated with happiness and fulfillment. The Institute for Family Studies finds that 37% of married parents between 18 and 50 years old describe themselves as very happy, compared with 26% of married nonparents. Among unmarried adults, 16% of parents report being very happy, compared with 14% of nonparents.

Additionally, while many acknowledge the stress and fatigue that come with raising children, 80% of parents say it is enjoyable all or most of the time, and 82% of parents believe it is rewarding.

Yes, parenting is difficult. But young people these days rarely hear about the joys of raising children. Instead, the ideal life is often portrayed as one with total freedom and zero responsibility – one that is inevitably childless.

Elizabeth Choi is an intern for USA TODAY Opinion and a student at Harvard University.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Americans are shifting away from wanting kids. I'm worried for my generation. | Opinion

Reporting by Elizabeth Choi, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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