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Hello! And welcome back to the Surge, the world’s premier seven-item newsletter about people whose jobs have some sort of connection to the city of Washington and/or the District of Columbia. I’m Ben Mathis-Lilley, still filling in for Jim Newell; Jim has taken the summer off to join one of those trendy goofball baseball teams , for whom he serves as a situational right-handed relief pitcher who falls into a pile of horse manure at least once a game. And you think your dry-cleaning bills are bad!

This week, a man named “Big Balls” triggered a military invasion, the government explained somewhat unpersuasively why it has decided not to cure cance

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