There’s something about intensive parenting culture that no one talks about, which is that while it’s sucking the life out of you, it can also dramatically simplify your life in a way that can bring unexpected relief. Allowing your kids and their needs to take up most of the space in your brain pushes most everything else to the sidelines — questions of ambition, satisfaction, desire, boredom. Many parents spend over a decade learning to forget what they really want so as to be effective stewards of their kids’ growth. Ostensibly, this represents a painful sacrifice, and at first it really does feel like one. Weekends cease to be days of rest. Early mornings acquire their own rites and rituals, none of which involve self-care. But humans are adaptable. We learn to love what confines us. So

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