DENVER, CO — Denver Mayor Mike Johnston has just announced his plan to address the recent increase in sexual assaults across the city by hunting down and deporting all of the female joggers.

According to the mayor, deporting all women joggers from the city should drastically decrease the number of rapes and assaults in the city committed by Venezuelan gang members and illegal immigrants.

"We vow to deport every single female jogger who is tempting people to assault them" Johnston told reporters. "Our police are working around the clock to ensure our streets are safe from these women in leggings. No more joggers, no more crime. You're welcome, Denver."

Several Denver residents have spoken out against the planned deportations, but they were also quickly deported.

The ordinance comes seve

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