How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’ve (61-year-old straight man) been with my girlfriend (50-year-old straight woman) for more than three years. This is easily the healthiest, most evolved relationship of my life. I want this to last. But my girlfriend’s reaction to the way I orgasm is driving us apart.

My problem is this: I’m a lion who roars. The more intense the orgasm, the louder I am, and the more intense it is, the less control I have over my wattage. Actually, that’s not really the problem, as I don’t care (much) what the neighbors think (though I don’t wish to be disruptive to other lives). My problem is that my girlfriend laughs. She finds it funny. Previous partn

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