Iwonder how No. 10 decides which minister is up for the ritual humiliation of the Today programme each morning. Russian roulette? An elaborate lottery? A competition – last person to spell out ‘TOOLMAKER’ using alphabetti spaghetti? Either way, today’s lucky victim for the airwaves was Home Office minister Dan Jarvis.

The Minister made a noise like a soul escaping the body

‘Let’s speak to someone who should know what’s going on in the Home Office,’ began presenter Emma Barnett, ominously. Someone enter the word ‘should’ into the Mr Universe competition: for here it was doing a lot of heavy lifting.

Mr Jarvis made an audible gulp as he was introduced as somebody who knew what he was talking about. Given the Starmer government’s propensity for sending out its lower-order goons into ac

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