DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am planning to invite my daughter’s in-laws to a formal dinner. I plan to host it the way my late almost-aristocratic mother would have done 60 years ago: with fine china, starched linens, good silver, flowers, the lot. I am partly (well, mainly) motivated by a few snobbish remarks dropped by my daughter’s father-in-law.

The thing is, I was raised to roll up my napkin after dinner and put it in my napkin ring, with my name engraved on it, for later use. But I cannot remember for the life of me whether guests should find a napkin ring provided if they’re only staying for one meal.

GENTLE READER: If this gentleman is as pretentious as you say, he may well believe, as many now do, that silver napkin rings add a formal touch to a table. And he would be wrong.

They do no

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