It was just supposed to be a nice weekend away, nothing more than a fun jaunt to a friend’s beach house, complete with Seventies soft rock sings-alongs in the car (Kenny Loggins’ “Whenever I Call You ‘Friend'” is a great road-trip jam) and maybe even a quick hand job en route. And naturally, everything devolves into a grisly auto wreck with fatalities.

This is how Splitsville starts, with what’s essentially a test, or possibly a warning. If a paramedic mentioning that a gentleman’s rather large penis is noticeably hanging out of his pants while someone else performs CPR on a dead body does not strike you as laugh-out loud funny, you’ll want to turn back now. The movie is giving you an get-outta-jail-free card right from the start. Maybe you wandered in because you like rom-coms, or re

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