Family advice: My mom says my stepfather's racist joke doesn't mean anything. I think it means he's a bigot and I'm done with him.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My daughter is turning 6 in a couple of months. I was at my mother’s place last week, and I heard my stepfather make a racist joke about a popular children’s character on the TV. I told my mother that I don’t want her husband at my daughter’s party or around my family in the future. She claimed “he was just making a joke” and that I’m taking it too seriously.

My sister-in-law is part of the minority group that he made the joke about, and she and her family will be at my daughter’s party. The last thing I want is a racist around who might say something hurtful to them or my two nieces, who are 6 and 8. I said as much to my mother and told her that e