GAITHERSBURG, Md. — A report released by the National Education Association on school preparedness found that U.S. teachers were exponentially more likely to have a nervous breakdown over the sight of “back to school” ads than their students, the organization has confirmed.

“The report was supposed to be about how much educators and families were spending on school supplies but every teacher we presented with a ‘back to school’ flyer from a retail store dropped to the floor and threw a temper tantrum. It turns out they don’t want to go back to the classroom even more than the children,” said NEA rep Helene Thompkins. “Our study found, even after two seconds of exposure, teachers were eight times more likely than students to experience panic attacks, bargaining for more time off, or callin

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