Numbers crunch! MLB broadcasts being destroyed by stats overload

Today’s reading is from Chapter 11 of “The Book Of Preposterous,” as submitted by congregant and reader Jack Adler:

“And so it was written, ‘Lo and take heed that it be both omen and prophecy that when sinkers rise and fastballs break down and away it is a clear sign that The End Times are near.’ ”

Saturday, I landed on SNY just in time for its Mets pregame show. Thus, I was able to bear witness as co-host Todd Zeile became the latest to speak in tongues as he, too, had been seized to dwell in the infernos of Beelzebub.

To a large graphic that covered the screen, Zeile parroted its contents: Clay Holmes’ start on August 12 vs. the Braves was compared to his August 17 start vs. the Mariners, thus, he threw “68 percent sinkers” then, in his next start, threw “32 percent sinkers.”