LOS ANGELES, CA - Albert Scott is a Hollywood screenwriter, and as someone with important influence on the American public, it's his job to inject woke politics into blockbuster movies, completely ruining the movie-watching experience for people who watch a movie just to forget about the world for a little bit. But the latest movie he's working on has given him some trouble.

"The movie is about a giant monkey fighting a giant lizard," explained Scott. "I'm really stumped on how to get anything about structural racism in here at all. I mean, they're just picking up buildings and hitting each other with them -- I don't know what to do with this."

In the olden days, Scott would have been happy to put some basic liberal politics in the movie by using Godzilla for an anti-nuclear message, but

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