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Given all the opportunities for undistilled panic in Donald Trump’s America, one wants to sigh in relief at the revelation that the National Guard members sent in to police a militarized D.C. this past month have settled into their new life as glorified—if expensive — groundskeepers . While they were brought in theoretically to beat back the “crime emergency” in Washington, many of the 2,000-plus troops have been deployed to attack various “beautification” projects that range from garbage collection to raking leaves to mulching cherry trees .

It’s tempting to chuckle. When Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, a former National Guard officer and Fox News host,

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