Miss Manners: How do I thank a relative stranger who helped our family?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A relative of mine died suddenly in her apartment. She lived alone, and sadly it was several days before she was found, along with her dog (who is doing fine).

The person who discovered her body was a security guard in her building; he had a warm but professionally distanced relationship with my relative and her dog. He’s been very kind and helpful through the post-death process of managing my relative’s apartment, and I get the sense that the experience of finding her in the apartment was difficult for him.

My family intends to send the security guard a heartfelt card thanking him for all he’s done and for being a kind and frequent presence in my relative’s life. But I wonder if something more substantial is warranted -- a gift card, check or donation to a favorite ca