As a tried-and-true Dakota Johnson stan (her limes !!!), I desperately wanted to love Splitsville , the new Neon-distributed comedy she’s starring in, but…all I’ll say is, my kingdom for a state-of-the-modern-marriage comedy that actually makes me laugh.

With that said, there were bright points in the film, to be sure. Find those, and (literally) every other thought I had while watching Splitsville , below.

Kenny Loggins song! Okay, I can probably get into this.

2. I 100% thought this Rose Byrne-looking woman was, in fact, Rose Byrne.

3. Has pottery ever been done by a couple outside of an attempted marriage-saving context?

4. Ooh, pottery AND puns. In a man, a really flesh-crawling combination for me, personally, but to each their own!

5. Not to out myself as a lame prude, b

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