MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — The success rate at escape room 7th Avenue Escapes increased to 100% after an Aerosmith playlist was added to its background music, distressed sources report.

“We made a new ‘Escape the 90s’ themed room because that type of nostalgia is all the rage now,” said owner Fernando Cruz. “We adorned the walls with ‘Home Alone’ and ‘Jurassic Park’ posters and incorporated Game Boys and Gak into the clues. It was pretty neat, but I think we missed the mark with the custom Aerosmith playlist, with songs like ‘Crazy’ and that one from ‘Armageddon.’ I should have known something was awry when the players started frantically escaping in a fraction of a time than they previously had, and they had the most sickened and horrified looks on their faces.”

Player Dawn Irvin gave her feed

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