Valentine's Day is almost here, and you're running out of time to make it a special day for that special lady in your life. Luckily, we here at The Babylon Bee are experts in romance. This is the definitive list of gifts your sweetheart is 100% guaranteed to love. Prepare to win this Valentine's Day! You'll thank us later.

GameStop shares: Is there anything more romantic than sticking it to Wall Street on Valentine's Day? No! Plus, you can teach your girl about holding onto that stock with "diamond hands." Women love diamond stuff.

Nothing: Women are turned off by men who get suckered by commercial holidays. If she tells you V-Day isn't a big deal, then don't sweat it. Don't get her anything. You'll be totally fine.*

Pokemon cards: Women like cute little animals. Get her a deck of t

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