DALLAS, TX - A graduate student at Dallas Theological Seminary confirmed Monday that he is still unable to locate his Bible among the massive piles of books about the Bible surrounding him in his apartment.

The situation apparently came to a head as one Drew Reynolds and a fellow seminarian were engaged in a discussion regarding the leadership models of the New Testament church, as described in the book of Acts and prescribed in the Pauline epistles. When his classmate suggested they stop flipping through books about the Bible and instead just check what the text had to say, Reynolds laughed at first, and kept looking through his supplementary texts and commentaries.

But he quickly realized his friend wasn't joking. "Oh wait…oh, you were serious? Sure, uh - let me just grab my Bible; it'

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