SUN VALLEY, CA - Bible scholars have debated the precise meaning of Jesus' stern warning against "blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" for thousands of years, but the matter seems to be settled at long last. Baptist scholar John Dean announced Thursday his "almost certain" finding that the damnable sin mentioned in Scripture is dancing.

"When you take into account the nuances of the Greek text, coupled with our rich understanding of Jewish culture, the only possible conclusion is that Jesus was strongly condemning any kind of gyrating, twerking, whipping, nae-naeing, or dancing by any other name in these verses," Dean explained in his press statement, publishing by The Master's Seminary. "The Greek term is actually broad enough to include even pensive swaying or slight head-bobbing."

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