DENVER, CO — Liberal parents Krystle and Gary Brennson were devastated yesterday by the discovery of a secret stash of JK Rowling's books underneath the bed of their teenager, Grypheni (they/them).

According to the shocked, sorrowing parents, the stack of paperback Harry Potter books looked like it had been secretly thumbed through for at least a year, and the binding was especially creased at pages describing transphobic characters and scenes.

"We never thought they'd be exposed to this sort of material," sniffled Krystle, dabbing at her eyes with the corner of her "Black Lives Matter" t-shirt. "I just can't believe they would betray our trust by wallowing in this sort of depraved, twisted filth. No child should have experience with explicitly transphobic works like that steaming garbag

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