LOS ANGELES, CA — A late-breaking report confirmed that the police helicopter hovering above your neighborhood either said to go outside and help look for a missing old guy or to lock your doors and stay inside because there's a serial killer on your street.

While sources were adamant that the message was either one or the other, they were unable to determine which one it was because the helicopter's loudspeaker was almost completely unintelligible.

"We don't know for sure what it was saying, but it was definitely one of those two," said a nearby witness. "We were inside watching some Netflix when we heard the helicopter buzzing right above the house. The police were saying… something. It might have been asking for us to help find a lost old man, or it may have been warning us that a der

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