Sad: Rebel Pilot Goes Through Eight Years Of Flight Training Only To Be Assigned Lame B

SULLUST — After years of training to be a pilot for the Rebel Alliance, eager young pilot Nej Berik was devastated to discover he had been assigned to fly the totally lame B-wing fighter.

"I got the B-wing? Are you freaking kidding?" said Nej Berik, who had just finished his eight years of flight training. "Do you ever hear about any hero pilots who won a battle against a TIE fighter flying this piece of trash? No, because they're DEAD. Dang it, man."

While other new Rebel recruits received assignments flying highly sought-after X-wings and even the boring Y-wings, Berik knew being tasked with piloting a B-wing likely spelled the end for not only his chances of achieving glory in the annuls of the Rebel Alliance, but also, quite possibly, his life. "Every time I've been at the base seein