When I dropped my son off at college and became an empty nester, I was hit with intense grief. It nearly broke me.

• Dropping my son off at college reopened the grief I had been carrying since his brother's death. • After many years of pushing my grief aside, I finally allowed myself to sit with it. • Now I've grown closer to both my sons and embraced all the ways I stay connected to them both.

When I dropped my son off at college for his freshman year, I was plagued with questions: Will he make friends? Will he get his homework in on time? Will he get caught texting during class?

I was then forced to return home to the proverbial empty nest. The adjustment quickly became a complicated mix of sadness and excitement, anxiety and pride, and that feeling in my gut that things will never be quite the same.

But my empty nest triggered something bigger in me. Bringing my 18-year-old, Ethan, to college