DEAR ABBY: I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. A fellow AA member suffered critical injuries in a motorcycle accident recently and had been in the ICU for several weeks. I visited the hospital regularly, bringing cookies and offering support to his girlfriend, who is also in the program.

During my last visit, I unknowingly arrived at the exact moment doctors began withdrawing life support. I had no idea it was going to happen and witnessed the kind of raw grief that comes in moments like that. Afterward, I hugged his girlfriend and quietly left. Only later did I learn that many in our AA group knew he was being taken off life support that day.

I am now devastated. I worry that his girlfriend and family think I showed up intentionally, intruding on such a deeply private, painful moment

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