AUSTIN, TX — In a shocking reversal from long-standing pro-life policies, the Texas legislature has decided that abortion can be legal in their state - as long as the unborn baby is issued an AR-15 to defend himself.

"It's only fair that them cute little babies being aborted be given some American-made firepower to make the fight a little more fair, I'll tell you what," said Governor Greg Abbott while signing the legislation. "Every Texas baby gets himself a 5.56 semi-automatic rifle with a 30-round mag! Yeehaw!"

According to the new law, every unborn child being brought to a Texas abortion clinic will be surgically issued a tiny AR-15, which will be placed in his tiny hand. Once a buzzer goes off, the abortionist will have only a few seconds to complete the abortion without being shot.

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